Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Look over there, a spider!


Let's go on a whirlwind tour of the past 7 days and compare what real journalists would report as headlines compared to our Socialist National Press, also known as the mainstream media.


Fact: The (most transparent ever) Obama administration ordered the sealing of Border Patrolman's Brian Terry's murder records today. Mr. Terry was the victim of A.G. Holder and President Obama's Fast and Furious program--you know, the one where an officer was shot by our own guns from a program our fearless leader approved so he could further crack down on gun ownership in the U.S. Read here .


Mainstream Media: GOP hopeful Herman Cain faces an alleged affair. He can't possibly be innocent because he is a Republican. He should just call it quits now, regardless of any evidence.


Fact: A Gallup poll released yesterday shows Obama with the lowest job approval rating of any president at this stage of their term in modern political history, including Jimmy Carter. Read here .


Mainstream Media: That dress Congressman Bachman wore at the last debate looked like a wedding gown, didn't it?

Fact: A Rasmussen report released today shows GOP Newt Gingrich polling ahead of Obama, 45-43. Read here .


Mainstream Media: Newt Gingrich cheated on his wife two decades ago. He also spent a boatload of his money on his current bride at Tiffany's. Really, that is way more extreme than Bill Clinton lying under oath about his sexual rendezvous in the White House. What are these Tea Party extremist thinking! ! 

Fact: President Flub A Dub called himself "Commander and Chief" in his weekly address last week and referred yesterday to the attack on the "English" embassy in Tehran. Read here and here .

Mainstream Media: Rick Perry mentioned the voting age as being 21 and he wants to be a president, are you kidding me! Seriously, is Texas A&M a real university?


Fact: A poll released today by the Kaiser Group (the folks who once loved Obamacare) shows the Act polls worst today than it did a year ago, read here .


Mainstream Media: Mitt Romney has flip-flopped on a couple key issues. He also probably likes to put kitties in his blender when he makes his protein shake. 


You, the gangster loving media cartel, is at the very heart of the crisis we face today.  You covered up Rezko, he is now in prison. You covered up his relationship with Blago, he now faces 15-20 years in the slammer. You covered up his relationship with Ayers and Dohrn,  known terrorists. You covered up his 20 year relationship with Pastor Jeremiah "God Da** America" Wright. You covered up his association with known communist Frank Marshall Davis. You covered up his relationship with George Soros. You were indifferent to his concealment of his birth certificate. You were indifferent to his failure to disclose his college transcripts. You were indifferent to his failure to release his medical records. You were indifferent to his teachings of Saul Alinksy. You were indifferent to his cocaine use. You were indifferent to his lackluster Senate career. AND YOU LED 53% OF AMERICA TO BELIEVE HE WAS QUALIFIED?

The American Pravda who made zero effort 3+ years ago to vett President Teflon expects to be trusted now to background the Republican candidates? We are living witnesses to an incredible media double standard, whereby Republican presidential hopefuls are being torn apart, while the biggest Democratic failure in our lifetime gets a free ride.

The absolute dereliction of duty by folks who call themselves 'journalists' is the single, most contributing reason we are where we are on this last day of November 2011!

417 days of suffering remains....






Thursday, November 17, 2011

Hawaii Floats to a New Continent


Don't know much about geography
Don't know much trigonometry
Don't know much...



Play the video. 

He is offering up a speech in Hawaii on Tuesday and proclaims "One other thing that I want to say about this: When I meet with world leaders, what’s striking — whether it’s in Europe or here in Asia....". So now since he was born in Hawaii, Obama I guess not only became our first black President, but also our first Asian. Nice.

I know we owe China a boatload of cash, but did we give 'em Hawaii as collateral?

But just remember, Sarah Palin is dumb…no wait, Bachman is an idiot…no wait, Cain doesn’t have a brain….no wait, Rick Perry got bad grades. Where are the 3 letter networks on Obama's (daily) gaffe? **Crickets**

You add this comment to the one he made while campaigning in 2008 indicating he was visiting his 57th state and you have to wonder if he would get pass round one of the Geography category in "Do You Think You Are Smarter Than a 5th Grader"? More evidence of why Scooter never released his Harvard transcripts.

May you be reminded of the rest of his misspeaks that the mainstream media never uttered a word about..."Malia is 13" when she was 12.."twister fatalities in Kansas, 10,000 people died" when only 12 were dead..."the Austrian language", there isn’t one...Obama thought Medal of Honor winner Jared Monte was alive, when he was actually killed in action...Navy "Corpse Man", instead of corpsman...the "Intercontinental Railroad", instead of Transcontinental...“ My Muslim faith” instead of Christian…confusing Jews with Janitors..called an inhalator "a breathalyzer"...that's off the top of my 1 cup of coffee memory..

Simply, the Teleprompter-Reader-in-Chief is going to have to hire a new Teleprompter....and he will count it as a new job....

430 days left for Obama to find himself an atlas...













Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Barack O'Grinch


 

I am not sure about your last water-cooler conversation, but I know on my recent final day of work we were all up in arms about Christmas trees being such huge jerks over the  years. But no worries, Captain Pine Beetle himself to the rescue with his new Christmas Tree Tax just in time for--- Christmas. 

That's correct dear readers, President Ba-humbug's Agriculture Department today announced that it will impose a new 15-cent charge on all fresh Christmas trees to support a new Federal program to improve the image and marketing of Christmas trees. Who knows why as the Christmas Tree Association already exists to promote their cause, see link .

Millions of Americans out of work, the economy in shambles, debt threatening to destroy the country, and this guy can’t think of anything better to worry about than Christmas trees? Breathtaking. This epitomizes Obama economics--raise natural Christmas tree prices to increase sales!

Guess where the money goes and win yourself a chocolate covered Santa! Yes, ANOTHER GOVERNMENT BUREAUCRACY called the Christmas Tree Promotion Board. Wait til the ACLU gets ahold of that name. It will quickly be renamed to the Holiday Tree Promotion Board. All we hear from the Left is the separation of church and state wails--where are they now? And since when can a tax originate in the Executive Branch?

Did I miss something? Was there a lack of promotion? Not sure where you reside, but hey I am surrounded by year round Christmas light hangers! Does not Target pretty much roll out their Christmas decor on about New Year's Eve nowadays?  

More natural tree sales equals more house fires. More natural tree sales equals more allergy doctor visits. More natural tree sales equals smaller forests. More natural tree sales increases volume at the local landfill. More natural tree sales equals increased vet bill due to airborne cats. Yes, the party of unintended consequences strikes again.

There is always a campaign strategy with Pres. Ebenezer since that is all he knows. I can see the new slogan now in a rally to revive the floundering Jewish vote- "Christians taxed on trees, Jews get tax-free Menorah candles, vote for me 2012." As well, I surmise the Artificial Tree Manufacturer's Union just cut the Bamster a donation check.

To conclude, if I am a natural Christmas tree vendor, I put out a sign that says "15 cents-the Obama I Hate Your Religion Tax". The 15 cent Burka Tax, no where to be found.

438 days remaining....Merry Taxmas!

Update: As soon as this posted, the Pres announced implementation of the tax will be delayed. My guess as to the reasoning-- he needs to fire up the campaign bus and road test "Pass this Christmas Tree Tax Bill Now" 







Thursday, November 3, 2011

Someone needs a kit!


When asked this week by a Minneapolis CBS affiliate reporter whether President Obama thought Americans were better off than they were when he took office, he responded, "Well, you know, I think we are better off now than we would have been if I hadn’t taken all the steps that we took. We’ve made steady progress."

President Crystal Ball just finished his annual physical last week. Certainly, he was not subject to being tested for crack.

 "We are"---that would be Barry, Moochelle and the girls. "Better off"---than what, a Cambodian tribal member? The Earth splitting in two? The Iranians accidentally launching nuclear missles? Roseann Barr being trapped inside of Country Buffet? Perhaps. "Steady progress"---toward what, a cliff? Captain Delusional is clearly showing his hand as to his new 2012 campaign slogan---"It could have been worse."

With a lie like that, I have only one piece of advice for the President--- please avoid flammable clothing! And while we are on the topic, if the Prez was at a movie theatre and yelled "fire", I believe everyone attending would say "pass the popcorn, the source of the announcement is Obama."

The only thing I could conclude he meant to say was "There are more little people receiving welfare and food stamps under my Regime than any other Regime in history and for that I am grateful."

I loved House Majority Leader John Boehner's response. Check it out in this short clip here, his facial reaction to the reporter's question is priceless.

Quick review of verifiable info now vs. 2008: Unemployment-worse. National debt and deficit-worse.Household income-worse. Gas price-worse. Home values-worse. Foreclosures-worse. Food stamp enrollment-worse. Healthcare premiums-worse. Poverty rate-worse. Failed banks-worse. U.S. bond rating-worse. Relationship with Israel-worse. Taxpayer's investment in green companies-worse. Businesses desire to invest money-worse. Border Patrol Agent Brian Terry's heartbeat-worse.

What is ironic, although not surprising from President Barack and Forth, is just 3 weeks ago he said Americans were not better off, see here. But I know, that is an unfair comparison, as all of Obama's statements have a 3 day expiration date.

In concluding, the President's manufacturing numbers are up--- that would be producing Bee-Ess which is delivered by the mainstream media, labeled as the truth and purchased by 52% of America.

444 days.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Bachelor's Degree in Failed Politics


The President is in Colorado coincidentally a swing state today campaigning announcing his new effort to get votes school loan modification program. The only supportive population he has left, the Stupid Vote, will certainly be drooling over the Emperor who chose to, once again, side-step Congress on an issue.

Yes, these po, po students who agreed to the conditions of a loan when they began their pursuit of their diploma with a major in Bowling Industry Management and a minor in Marijuana Cultivation now whining about their school debt being forgiven due to their inability to obtain a job in their field of study. Ya think?

A President that has not taken any responsibility for his actions and administration is now teaching our youth that they do not have to take responsibility for their actions. Our future looks great.

But, as is evidenced in this recent poll, 66% of Americans are opposed to this idea of easing their loan obligations. Once again, President Contrariran code three to the rescue! A Cash for Clunkers program with a tassel, AWESOME!

The amount at risk: $1 trillion in outstanding school loans. Who is at risk of paying it back: the 53% of Americans who pay taxes. Just because Pres. Food Stamp wants to forgive your debt, does not mean the debt goes away. It simply becomes the burden of the rest of us.

The MIA mainstream media will not challenge President Candyman on a single point. What is the most obvious question that needs to be asked of him as he rants about saving them money so they can "start up their own businesses, buy a home, have children"-- how much will the average student save per month under the new guidelines? Per an analysis at this link, LESS THAN $10 per month! Instead, we have the media saying "Hey, look over there, the Michael Jackson trial!"

You mopes want free tuition-- do 8 years in the military-- problem solved.

The real issue with school debt escalation--an average annual 8% tuition inflation rate, not to mention exorbitant book fees. Why not address that Pres. Precious? Oh, that's right, academia overwhelmingly supports a Democrat's agenda. Case closed.

Who are these kids? Hey, the same ones who are rioting in Oakland and Atlanta --that's right, liberal protesters in liberal cities run by liberal local government, all being tear-gassed last night at their Occupy I Wanna Freebie movement. And, who owns these "Occupiers"--that would be Barack Hussein Obama who on October 18th stated "In some ways, they’re not that different from some of the protests that we saw coming from the Tea Party". See a video of their "just like Tea Party" behavior right here.


I want to start my own movement, #OccupyMensa, so I can complain of the intellectual gap in this country. Will you join me? Unlike Wall Street, I was thinking of Colfax Ave in Denver as a starting point.

Liberty is the right to make whatever legal choices you want - good or bad.  You want to smoke?  Inhale! Drink?  Imbibe!  Become morbidly obese?  McD's drive-thru!  Go to school to get a degree in a field that is not paying so well?  Apply!  It's your life, you're responsible for it.  You - not me, not your parents, not some mythical village, not the rest of the nation. DON'T ASK ME (or whine to the government to force me) TO PAY FOR YOUR CHOICES.

In closing, I finished college with zero debt. Yes, I had to humbly deliver flowers and tutor other students, so be it. My wife had a school loan that we paid off early. My oldest son graduated debt-free and my youngest, at most, may have to borrow money for his senior year from the Hallock Foundation for Unemployed Children. Amazingly, we all chose majors in fields that we might have a chance to be employed by and none have us have ever thought of walking away from an agreement we made. Yes, our family is the new minority in America, the responsible.

451 days until the Federal government school loan modificatin program handouts expire.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Baby HuGey


Notice anything slightly different about this 30 year old? Meet Binky-soothing, diaper wearing, government bottle-sucking Stanley Thornton.

Momma's Boy-Super Sized is the recipient of $860 per month in Social Security disability payments. His disability-- he is an adult baby. He has a self-proclaimed, irresistible urge to be bottle fed, sleep in a crib and dress in baby attire. When a Republican Congressman demanded a fraud investigation, the Social Security agency ruled this week his payments were legitimate and would not cease his funding. Uhhh--the only one who needs government assistance in this situation is the person responsible for cleaning out the 5 lb. Kentucky Browns in his Snugglies !

When Cradle to Grave Nanny Child initially learned of the investigation, he responded "If you go after my payments I am going to kill myself. Next time you see me on the news, it will be me in a body bag.” OK, let Dave do the math: Hundreds of thousands of dollars for you to suck on the government teat or $300 for an XXXL cute, baby blue body bag. I am all about cost savings. Maybe there is a place for Death Panels in Obamacare after all.



Thornton claimed "All my illnesses have had extensive testing" he wrote on his site. That's correct, "he wrote on his site"-- cause as we all know, all disabled 2 year olds have a website. Furthermore, Stan resides at his California apartment where he has built himself a giant crib, play pen and even a man-sized high chair. When I was two, I could build a mound of nothing with my Lincoln Logs. Even at age 50+, whipping out the chicken coop was a real test of my woodwork skills. It would not even qualify for the medal round in the Special Olympics of Carpentry. Seriously, I think my hens still chuckle about their housing. But Stan, he is quite the carpenter as evidenced here constructing his own high chair and crib:



Democrat Poster Boy dresses himself, heads out to Home Depot, buys what he needs off his list, pays the cashier, drives home and builds stuff----hey, we all qualify for $860 a month!

What's next- his own reality based TV  show, "Crap Your Pants- Get Paid".

While Enabler-In-Chief gets escorted out The House in 457 days, an eternity remains for this dolt nursing on the Government Breast-Feeding program..

Monday, October 10, 2011

OWS (Occupy the Wrong Street)


Anyone else been looking for the 60's offspring--done think I have found them. Every OWS picture I have seen looks like Woodstock sans the downpour.

Their stated goal was to organize themselves in the fashion of the known conservative group, The TEA Party. Well, they were close, except the name should be changed to The TEAT party.

Take some WTH meds before you consume this 2 minute video. If you have ever wanted to know what South Park looks like with humans playing the leading roles, here you go, ENJOY!

So inspiring ain't it? Seriously, what is up with repeating chants. I went to an OWS rally and a wedding vow broke out...or something. What mindless drivel.

Occupy Wall Street? Uhhh, how about Occupying the Wrong Street. Perhaps you misfits should head over to the evil corporation Garmin website and get yourself a GPS and figure out how to get to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

Speaking of the White House, who loves them the Occupiers? Barrack Obama and Nancy Pelosi. What the mainstream media, whose articles about OWS outnumber the actual protesters, won't reveal is Obama himself has collected more money from Wall Street than any other president in the past 20 years. In addition, Queen Nan is married to Paul who is an-- d r u m r o l l--  INVESTMENT BANKER. Much of his wealth was attributed to selling evil corporations Apple and Cisco stock pocketing almost $3 million dollars last year. Utter hypocrisy.

Anyone else notice the timing? Just as the Solyndra scandal is getting legs as is the entire Fast and Furious debacle,  seemingly out of nowhere, the Community Organizer in Chief is able to launch his Neanderthal street festivals. Coincidence? Doubtful.

I think Herman Cain, my guy (right now) for Pres. 2012 said it best, "the movement is comprised of jealous Americans who play the victim card and want to take somebody else’s Cadillac."  He added "Occupy Wall Street is merely a distraction so that many people won’t focus on the failed policies of the Obama administration.” Essentially, the chant is "What do we want, we don't know".."When do we want it...NOW".

To conclude, I really don't get it. Who owns the largest insurance company in America? Who is the biggest land owner in the USA? Who runs the biggest retirement plan in America? Who bailed out those evil banks? Car companies? Who allowed the credit swaps to the behemoth mortgage companies that started the downfall ? That would be the EVIL FEDERAL GOVERNMENT.

468 days left, or for this group, 10 showers.