Dr. Seuss, new State Dept Director

Who can forget the mischievous Thing 1 and Thing 2 from the beloved Dr. Seuss books? Well, clearly, the State Department is well read in the Cat in the Hat. So much so they are proposing deleting "Father" and "Mother" from passport applications and replacing it with "Parent 1" and "Parent 2". Sickening.

The State Dept.s explanation: “We find that with changes in medical science and reproductive technology that we are confronting situations now that we would not have anticipated 10 or 15 years ago".  Translated: This group votes Democrat, let's toss 'em a bone. Gender neutrality on the form accomplishes what? So for the sake of 5% of the population (gays who adopt, medically induced births, etc) we are going to offend the other 95%? Yes, men and women procreating and giving birth to God's gifts is so, so yesterday. 

The simple thought of leaving "Father" and "Mother" and adding "Guardian" a couple times--why wouldn't that have worked? Oh, I know, the committee formulated to research this monumental crisis facing this country would not have been able to rake in their coin.


The reality of left-wing liberalism is always the same-- big heart meets unintended consequences. The sad reality is 50% of all children will have a step parent. So, here we go with a revision:
Unintended consequence #1:
Parent 1-
Parent 2-
Parent 3- 

What about 'first place' syndrome? Bubba and Buffy are at the post office filling out their app with the postal worker. When asked "who will be Parent 1?", the fight ensues as Buffy wails on Bubba as she wants to be numero uno on the passport form. Buffy gets one year probation for domestic violence.
Unintended consequence #2:
Parent 1- Bubba  Buffy
Parent 2- Buffy Bubba

In my work world, many of our phone calls start out as "can you send the po-po to my house my baby's daddy is here and I want him out!".
Unintended consquence #3:
Parent 1- Baby's daddy
Parent 2- Eternal victim 

If you are a child of a progressive..
Unintended consequence #:
Parent 1- Public school system
Parent 2- HDTV


Oh yes, let one not forget medical science as the State Dept asserts. So, if you are the product of artificial insemination, In-Vitro, etc...
Unintended consequence #5:
Parent 1- Turkey Baster
Parent 2- Doctor


Next year, the entertainment industry will demand equal consideration and request "Parent 2 Dearest" be the new movie title. "Parent 1 Was A Rolling Stone" will be re-released as a chart buster. Franklin Graham will preach on "Our Parent 1 Who Are In Heaven".

Gotta run folks, youngest son is calling Parent 1...adios...